The "Two Cows" Model of Government

For those of you who aren't familiar with this FABULOUS system, the "Two Cows" model is a way of demonstrating how various governments work, usually to hilarious results. Below are some of my personal favorites:

-WIKIPEDIANISM: This cow is a heifer. You can help Wikipedia by milking it.

-POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.

-JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

-FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

-DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

-AUSTRALIANISM: You have two cows. You take one to the beach and teach it to surf, then you bung the other one on the barbie, drink some VB, and laugh at the idea of a surfing cow.

-CALIFORNIA CORPORATION: You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

-SURREALISM: You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.

-COMMUNISM -- SOVIET: You have two cows. You drink some Vodka. You count them and realize you have four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.

-BITCHISM: You're a cow!

-ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

There's more of them here!!